


One Of Those Days

by Pfain Ryder (Cat_Moon)



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-12 07:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19942558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Pfain%20Ryder
Summary: When Sam finds himself in another leap, it seems he's left part of himself behind.





	One Of Those Days

My awakening was an abrupt one; whether it coincided with my leap in or not, I didn't know. Possibly, since I woke in a cold sweat, though the feeling of terror lingered, as if I'd been having a nightmare.

Little did I know, the nightmare had yet to begin.

Before I had a chance to assess my surroundings, the phone rang. Locating it without turning on the light, I picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

For a minute, there was nothing but the sound of breathing.

"Hello?" I tried again, trying to shake off the lingering fatigue.

When the voice spoke, it was low and guttural. "Are you dreaming of me, baby?" a man asked.

"Huh?" I mumbled through a yawn so huge my jaw cracked. "Who is this?"

"You want it, don't you?" the voice continued in a taunting sing-song.

With a stab of something I could only describe as apprehension, I realized I was the victim of an obscene phone call. I hung up before he could get to the gory details.

The feeling of dread I'd woken up with stayed with me, even as I got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. I felt groggy, almost as if I'd taken a sleeping pill. Something was definitely amiss, augmenting the feeling of unease. Oddly my balance was off, and I felt lighter somehow. Was I sick?

I located the bathroom and turned on the light, blinking in the brightness. A look in the bathroom mirror confirmed what I already knew--I was a female again.

Little did I know how literally this time.

The surprise came when I went over to the toilet to relieve myself. Because that's when I noticed...something very important was missing...

I'd had to adjust to a lot of things while quantum leaping, but nothing had prepared me for this. At least before, my body was always with me. Sure, I saw the person I'd replaced in any reflective surfaces. But when I touched myself -- myself always touched back.

Well, this time when my hands moved down my chest, they encountered round, full breasts. And moving lower...nothing.

I'll be honest, I didn't take this new development very well.

I gripped the edge of the sink for support, barely holding in a scream. After a few deep breaths, I ripped open the frilly nightie with shaking hands, for a better look.

"Oh my god...it's true..."

I jumped at the voice, and turned to see Al standing there, staring. "Al! Al, look at me!"

"Oh, I am..." he sighed blissfully.

"Al--do something!" I yelled in a male panic.

"I wish I could..."

"That's not funny--somebody stole my body!"

"Sam, calm down," he said in a reasonable voice.

"Calm down? _Calm down!_ That's easy for you to say, nobody stole _your_ twinkie!"

There was a moment of absolute silence. Then, a strange barking noise started up. Knowing it had to be coming from Al, I turned my eyes from the mirror and looked at him. At first I thought he was choking, then realized with growing indignation, that he was fighting a valiant struggle to hold a bout of laughter inside.

"What's so funny?!" I demanded.

The laughter burst forth like a geyser, and he bent over involuntarily, holding his stomach. "Your _what?_ " he gurgled.

I felt my face heat up with embarrassment and anger. "Well that's what we always called...it when I was little," I defended. "What's wrong with that?!"

"I think--"

I interrupted him. "I do not want to discuss my twinkie any longer," I informed him firmly.

"That's okay," Al told me with a leer. "'Cause I'd rather discuss your--"

"This is a nightmare, right? It's got to be a nightmare..." I stared down at myself in consternation.

"Get a grip!" Al commanded.

Uncomfortable with the way Al was ogling me, I grabbed a robe off the hook on the door and put it on. Then I ran into the other room. After a quick search of the cabinets, I found a bottle of whiskey, poured a generous amount into a glass, and drank down half of it. Feeling slightly better, I turned on Al. "You'd better be able to tell me what's going on!"

Al brought the handlink out of his pocket and began punching buttons. "Well, uh Ziggy says, he uh...well, we don't know," he admitted with reluctance.

"What do you mean you don't know?!" I demanded. "You have to know! Where's my body?"

"It's in the waiting room."

"Well I want it back!"

"For the last time--calm down! Giving yourself a stroke will not get your body back. You think _you_ were surprised? Ever since Gooshie installed the satellite feed so we could get better TV stations in the executive lounge, I've been able to see _you_ instead of the person you leaped into. When I walked into the waiting room, I thought..."

"You thought I'd leaped home?" I said in a sympathetic voice.

"No, I thought I was having PTS hallucinations again," he told me.

I took another few deep breaths, and counted to ten for good measure. "Okay. Okay. You go back and find out what's going on." As he brought up the holo door, I thought of something else. "Oh, and find out why I'm here, 'cause I want out--right away!"

"Yes, boss...cutie," he added with a grin, jauntily ignoring my glare as he sauntered through the doorway and disappeared.

 _No..._ I moaned to myself in despair, wrapping the robe more tightly around me. I'd forgotten something horrible.

I still had to go to the bathroom.

Answering the call of nature was an experience--to say the least. I managed the best I could, then crawled back into bed. Somehow, I felt like a worse pervert than Al, no easy feat, either.

 _Why me?_ I murmured to myself.

Then I remembered that this woman was now in possession of my body, back in the waiting room, and turned three more shades of red. I hoped I had clean underwear on, at least.

Then, as the night marched on, more elaborate worries took possession of my mind. What if I didn't get my body back on the next leap? I was awfully fond of certain parts, we'd been through a lot together. Leaping into a man wasn't so bad, but...

What if I leaped into a woman with her period? I shuddered, feeling another panic attack coming on.

Then another thought: What if I leaped into a little girl? Some little girl would get a crash, advanced education.

And, getting back to my body, I didn't relish anyone else being in possession of it, even for a few days.

My skin crawled, and I hugged the thin arms to myself.

Then the phone rang again.

It was going to be one of those nights.

XXX

Six o'clock the next morning found me sitting at the kitchen table, full pot of coffee on the stove, half a cup in front of me.

Al arrived, eyeing me warily. "No more PMS?" he asked with his best imitation of a cautious inquiry.

I remained silent and glared at him. It was one of the things I'd learned to do best while leaping through time. I was at the level of expert.

"Well, uh, sleep well?" he asked sweetly.

"No I didn't sleep well. I didn't sleep at all." I'd finally discouraged the crank caller with a whistle I found in a drawer, but it was still hard to sleep under the circumstances. I felt like a robbery victim. I felt...violated. "Has Ziggy found out why I'm here?" I asked with forced lightness.

"Why you're here?" When Al starts repeating my questions, I know it's not a good sign. "Actually, Ziggy's having a little problem."

" _Ziggy's_ having a problem?!" I screeched.

"Now Sam, have a little sympathy. You know how insecure he gets when he's wrong, or when something happens that he didn't foresee."

"I'm feeling a little insecure right now myself, Al," I told him, gesturing vaguely at my midsection.

For the first time since I'd leaped in, Al grimaced in true empathy. "Yeah, I can understand that. But Ziggy is in the middle of a crisis at the moment, and there's nothing anyone can do to rush him. _You_ invented him," he added at my look of scorn.

I buried my head in my hands.

"Hey -- aren't you supposed to be at work?" Al asked suddenly.

I raised my head to glare at him balefully. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Oh. Well, Daphne told us she works at a place called 'Eat At Joes'. She waits tables, six days a week, the early shift. Better hurry, Sam."

"No way."

"Huh?"

I elaborated, enunciating clearly so there would be no misunderstanding. "I have been awake all night long. I am not going to put on a short, skimpy uniform and wait on the tables of ugly, lewd truck drivers who leave nickles and gropes for tips. No."

"I hope she doesn't lose her job," he mumbled.

I sighed a very loud, put-upon sigh. "The answer's still no. Can this get any worse?" I asked the ceiling.

Beside me, Al fidgeted cagily.

I fixed him with another glare, this one suspicious. "What is it you're not telling me?"

"Well, there is one other teensy problem."

"Teensy?" I said ominously.

"Well, I supposed teensy is a relative term. I mean, you couldn't prove it my me. I mean, I've only heard--"

"What are you talking about?!" I shouted, rapidly losing my temper again. As a matter of fact, I felt rather like a rabid dog at the moment.

"Daphne is refusing to give your body back," he said in a rush of words.

I jumped to my feet in anger. "What?!"

"Now don't go getting all uptight again. She only wants to keep it for a little while. She says about six days."

Realizing it was time for more drastic measures, I began stalking towards Al menacingly.

He backed up at my approach. "Hey, it's not like she has a choice in the matter," he tried to appease. His eyes darted down to the handlink nervously, also keeping a close eye on me. It was always fun when I could intimidate him into forgetting we were only holograms to each other.

"C'mon, Sam -- hey, Sam!" he crowed. "You did it!"

"What did I do?"

"You were supposed to stay home from work today. See, in the original timeline, Daphne went to work. I guess it was a hairy day. She mowed down five customers with her snub nosed .38."

I stared at him with wide eyes.

"PMS," Al clucked sympathetically. "Hey, no wonder she wanted to keep your body for a week..."

"Can I go now?" I demanded in a blind panic, as I felt something wet...at least I thought I did, I might have been my imagination. Then a merciful God pulled me out.

"I want my body back........." I wailed as the void took me, praying I'd be heard.

Distantly, I heard Al's voice, full of innuendo. "Look on the bright side -- maybe next time you'll leap into a horse..."

**the end**

8/6/94

**Author's Note:**

> In the early days of the series, some people used to think it was only Sam's mind that leaped and he actually inhabited the body of those he replaced. Then of course he fathered a child in a leap, which made it unequivocally a fact that his whole body is leaping. While I was one of the ones who always assumed his whole body was doing the leaping, I thought it would be fun to play with that situation.


End file.
